Wednesday 11 May 2016
Im on a journey just a little bird all by myself I got to get to the top of that mountain cause somebody that led me there was amazing thing . So I better start my journey. Step by step tiring work to clime that high but I got to try. Seven hours later I'm almost there couple more steps I'm here there nothing here now I got to climb down.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You need to watch your spelling like clime is climb and you need to work on punctuation like you need to add commas with I'm also your first sentence is kinda jumbled with the part why your explaining why your climbing the mountain but i really like your story.
ReplyDeleteI think the minimum of words is 75 words. You have 70. Remember your punctuation, especially when you are using contractions such as I'm. Your story is confusing, and I think you could add some commas into your sentences to make them smoother. If you are a bird, why don't you fly away? You spelt a few words wrong. Revise, revise, revise.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to separate some of your words because some of them is getting too long and confusing. You also need to be more careful on spelling. I think you mean climb instead of clime. I'm also a bit confused on your last sentence but good job in your story.
ReplyDelete